Top 20 Henry Cloud Quotes of All-Time


I first heard Henry Cloud at Catalyst Conference several years ago. His talk on leadership blew me away! Since them I’ve been following him. Here’s a little bio. Dr. Henry Cloud is a clinical psychologist, acclaimed leadership expert and best-selling author. He draws on his experience in business and his background as a clinical and consulting psychologist to impart practical and effective advice for improving leadership skills, personal relationships and business performance. Here’s my curated list of my favorite quotes from Henry Cloud. Check out his work here.

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life 

Favorite Quotes from Boundaries

“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where i end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options. Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them. You are the one who must live with their consequences. And you are the one who may be keeping yourself from making the choices you could be happy with. We must own our own thoughts and clarify distorted thinking.”

“The Bible is clear about two principles: (1) We always need to forgive, but (2) we don’t always achieve reconciliation. Forgiveness is something that we do in our hearts; we release someone from a debt that they owe us. We write off the person’s debt, and she no longer owes us. We no longer condemn her. She is clean. Only one party is needed for forgiveness: me. The person who owes me a debt does not have to ask my forgiveness. It is a work of grace in my heart.”

“When we begin to set boundaries with people we love, a really hard thing happens: they hurt. They may feel a hole where you used to plug up their aloneness, their disorganization, or their financial irresponsibility. Whatever it is, they will feel a loss. If you love them, this will be difficult for you to watch. But, when you are dealing with someone who is hurting, remember that your boundaries are both necessary for you and helpful for them. If you have been enabling them to be irresponsible, your limit setting may nudge them toward responsibility.”

“True intimacy is only build around the freedom to disagree.”

“If you continue to blame other people for “making” you feel guilty, they still have power over you, and you are saying that you will only feel good when they stop doing that. You are giving them control over your life. Stop blaming other people.”

Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships that All of Us have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward

Favorite Quotes from Necessary Endings

“Getting to the next level always requires ending something, leaving it behind, and moving on. Growth demands that we move on. Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.“Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.” 

“Your business and your life will change when you really, really get it that some people are not going to change, no matter what you do, and that still others have a vested interest in being destructive.”

“One of the most important types of decision making is deciding what you are not going to do, what you need to eliminate in order to make room for strategic investments.”

“Failing well means ending something that is not working and choosing to do something else better.”


How People Grow: What the Bible Reveals About Personal Growth


Favorite Quotes from How People Grow:

“Instead, in trying to become God, they became less of themselves. And this is why we need spiritual growth. We have become less of what we were created to be.”

“Second—and this is by far the bigger emphasis and the one that gets to the heart of this book—we wanted to bring the idea of working on relational and emotional issues back into the mainstream of spiritual growth. Spiritual growth should affect relationship problems, emotional problems, and all other problems of life. There is no such thing as our “spiritual life” and then our “real life.” It is all one.”

“Seeking God first means that we know him as the God of grace who is for us. He is the one who will provide what we need, and we must give up our own self-help programs. But we can’t just have him and have it all done. We also have to be changed into people who can produce the fruit of the life we desire, and we do that by finding his ways and learning to live them.”

Boundaries for Leaders: Why Some People Get Results and Others Don’t

Favorite Quotes from Boundaries for Leaders:

“The personal and interpersonal sides of leadership are every bit as important as the great leadership themes as vision, execution and strategy.”

“The people side of things should be an investment with a high rate of return, not a contestant drain on your personal and organizational resources.”

“When leaders lead in ways that people’s brains can follow, good results follow as well.”

“Leadership is not dog training. It is the creation of the kinds of conditions in which people can bring their brains, gifts, hearts, talents and energy to the realization of a vision.”

“What you create, what you allow, is what you get as a leader.”

“One of the most important self-boundaries that leaders have to establish is against the tendency to put off changes that they know need to be made.”

“When you encourage someone, it literally changes their brain chemistry to be able to perform… sends fuel to the brain.”

” You will not grow without attempting to do things you are unable to do.”